Freedom, running in shorts, and the pursuit of happiness

One of my goals when I was bigger was to be able to run in shorts.  I could never do it because shorts would ride up and I would constantly be yanking on them.  So I lost some weight and tried again and the same thing happened.  I just didn't feel comfortable enough and the shorts would still ride up.  I would be pulling, and yanking, and wondering what people were thinking about me.  I even tried running with shorts over bike shorts.  It was equally uncomfortable.  I had given up.  Let's face the facts here.  With this body shape I have there was never going to be enough weight loss for my thighs not to touch.  And I am totally OK with that.  Muscular thighs typically DO touch and I would rather that than tiny bird legs.  I knew the only way I would ever be able to run in shorts is if they were tight shorts.  You know the ones I'm talking about.  The ones the HOT runners wear.  You know, something like this...

And I told myself I would get there.  I told myself that when I looked like her I would certainly rock those shorts while running.  When I was a HOT runner I would wear them.  And I waited to look like that...and waited...and waited.

Yesterday Jon had a tennis match at 6:30 so I figured I would run home, change my clothes, and go for a run at Highland park so I could watch his match after.  I usually wear compression capris ALL the time for ALL the workouts.  I have been running, doing stadiums, doing yogalates etc like a crazy person the last few weeks.  I was in a hurry and ran to our room to throw on a tank top and some capris and low and behold they were ALL dirty!!  My choices were long black workout pants or fitted shorts.  Two months ago I would have grabbed the pants without thought and left to run while sweating my ass off.  Yesterday was different.  In my new found fit fat confidence I chose the shorts.

Oh, btw I am coining the term "fit fat."  You know how people say I want to be "fit skinny" not "fat skinny?"  As in, they want to be small and toned and not small and soft.  Well people I am "fit fat."  I am not small and skinny, but my body is tighter than a lot of "fat skinny" people.  I always thought I would be happier being fit or fat skinny.  Turns out I am really starting to fall in love with the body I have.  

Anywho, I went to my drawers and decided to wear the 6 dollar danskin "fitted" shorts that I had previously bought from walmart to put under tennis skirts.  At first, when I put them on I was a bit self-conscience wondering what people would think, but once I got out there to the park and started running and feeling the air on my legs, all was forgotten.  It turns out I AM a HOT runner.  I felt sexy on my whole entire run.  I quickly remembered that this is MY body.  It's MINE to do whatever I want with.  It's MINE to dress however I want to.  It isn't someone else's body top judge or dress.  They are welcomed to look at it, but that is about it.  It's MINE and I love it!!  There is something very freeing about deciding to love your body guys.  I highly, highly suggest you start to work on it.  Don't wait and wait and wait until you have someone else's "perfect body."  Love it now as it is and it will suddenly start to transform into YOUR perfect body.

Excuse the dirty mirror and clothes on the floor...

After my run, watching Jon play tennis and enjoying feeling free and happy!!

Here's to running in shorts on the regular!!  I hope you will try it!

QUICK EDIT...here are the shorts.  Oh, they weren't 6 bucks.  Hello $4.84!

http://www.walmart.com/ip/Danskin-Now-Girls-Compression-Short/32162602

Evernote...YOU NEED IT

If you aren't using Evernote to organize your life, you need to be.  It's a program that, to quote their website, "makes it easy to remember things big and small from your everyday life using your computer, phone, tablet and the web."  But, it is so much more than that.

We are definitely becoming a paperless society, no matter how hard we try not to be.  I was just asking Jon this morning if he thought checks would be obsolete in our lifetime.  I still use checks to pay our bills (I know I know...step into 2014 Kaitlyn).  I use them because I have control issues and I do not like things being drafted out of our account.  There is something comforting to me about writing checks for bills.  Ok, now that I have gotten off-track, let me get back one.  I have had Evernote on my iPad for quite some time, but every time I tried to play around with it, I couldn't figure out how it was supposed to be useful to me.  I had my iPad at work this week and decided to see if it could help me organize things at work.  So, instead of being the stubborn know it all that I usually am, I decided to research it a little and, I guess you could say, "read the instructions."  You can download it on your iPhone and iPad (probably non-apple devices too, but I wouldn't know because I am an apple snob.)  You can also download it on your computer.  Your account syncs everywhere so anything that is on your computer is on your phone is on your tablet etc.  So here is what it does....

Click to watch video

I'm lame and getting old and could not embed the video.  My apologies.

The video is a nice little overview, but when you actually get around to doing things on it, you truly realize all the things that it can do.  Here is a little screenshot of my "notebooks."  I'm sure there are plenty to come, but I just started using it two days ago.

As you can see it is kind of like a little virtual file cabinet to keep you organized.   For each "note" you write you can tag different words to it.  As you can see I tagged "Chicken" and "Grilled" so when I search those words, this recipe will pop up.

Everything in Evernote is searchable so, say you write a note about what kind of light bulbs you have in your living room, and a light bulb burns out.  You are at the store, but don't know what you need.  Search the word "light" and that "note" will pop up.  You can attach a picture of the box.  You can add a voice recording to it.  You can attach the receipt for it if you would like.  Now, I realize that maybe was not the best example because you probably don't have an extreme need to keep what kind of light bulbs you have in the living room on file, but my point is you can keep EVERYTHING on Evernote. 

I have a notebook called coupons.  When I get store coupons in the mail they never expire for like 2 months and I have trouble throwing them away, but they always end up in a junk drawer.  I get to the store and go, "didn't I have a coupon for this store" and realize I don't have it in my purse etc.  I can now just take a picture of the coupon and toss it.  It's stored on Evernote in my phone.  I can search for it.  The cashier can scan it.  I can also set it to where the coupon is deleted from Evernote on the day it expires. 

There is a checklist function as well.  If you have a meal plan notebook you can highlight the recipes you are using for the week and there is a grocery list function that will take all ingredients and make a checklist for you.  Are you kidding me?  BAM...organized life.  Also, if it is something you need to remember, like bring checks to work, you can add a date and a time and Evernote will remind you on your phone.  My phone reminded me last night at 8pm and I stuck the checks that I have forgotten to bring since Monday in my purse.

Also, say you have 100 notes in your "Work" notebook.  You can highlight them.  Right click.  And make a table of contents note.  You then have all the titles of your notes and can click to get to each one.

Evernote is extremely helpful at work.  No more sticky note frame for my computer.  They have a sticky note option.  When you take a picture of a sticky note it actually stays looking like a sticky note which is sort of neat.  You can also set reminders on any note for a day and time and the reminder will pop up.  Oh yea, and the sticky notes are now searchable!

There is also a "business card" option to store all your business cards.  Please do not call Larry.  I do not know him and he does not know me.  This is an old business card that was hanging around, but I wanted to show the functionality of the business card feature.  It even enters all of the information for you....

There are apps that you can download that go along with it.  Penultimate is one that is pretty cool.  It allows you to write down notes.  You can scribble ideas without typing and they all get saved. 

There is a "clip to Evernote" function you can use on your web browser.  It puts a small button at the top of your browser.  When you click the button, it simplifies the article you're reading or the recipe you're looking at and you can then send it to Evernote.  I have a "recipe notebook" that is going to be super helpful when cooking, etc.

One other neat thing is that your Evernote has an email address attached to it.  I can forward emails to that email address and they are saved automatically. 

When you highlight more than one note you can also email them to yourself, merge them, make an attachement, create a table of contents, move them around...Oh the possibilities!!

Did I mention EVERYTHING IS SEARCHABLE.  I don't have to scour my desk searching for the sticky note I wrote about a bank account number three months ago.  It's saved on Evernote. 

Evernote is truly a way to become nearly paperless and I am LOVING it!

Two Words: Kendra Scott

Thanks to my friend Kaci, I have now become obsessed with Kendra Scott.  If you don't know who she is, you need to.  She just opened a store in Perkins Rowe and you need to check it out.  I am also obsessed with Mindy Project.  And Mindy wears Kendra Scott jewelry all the time which  makes me just love it even more!  Here is a little sample of some of the jewelry:

Can you hear the angels singing yet?

Also there is this....

My BFF in my alternate life where I hang out with celebrities.  Yes, a celebrity endorsement just totally got me.  I know, I know.  It's shallow, but I just can't help myself.  If Mindy wears it, I need to wear it.

And I do...

I talked to Jon about Kendra Scott every night pretty much since the store opened in P Rowe.  I think he heard enough and come Saturday he said there was something in our bedroom for me and we played the cold/hot game until I found it in the dresser.  Wooohooo!!!  Just because presents are the best!  Even if they are "shut up" presents!

 

Now I can be Mindy-like!

 

Seriously, though...go check out the store.  This is some perfect jewelry for the Easter Bunny to bring you :)

First Love

I'm so excited to write my first post in my "new" blog.  I figured why not write about the first time I ever fell in love...

I was in fifth grade and I went to Wal-Mart with my mom and my sister.  I had some money (not sure why, maybe Christmas or birthday) and I was finally at the age where I decided that instead of going to the toy aisle, I would go to the music.  I was ready to pick out my first CD.  It wasn't Hanson, or Nsync, or Backstreet Boys (although I would later purchase those...I mean I was 11).  It was 1997 and I was faced with a choice.  I stood there in the music aisle, and with the help of my sister, narrowed it down to Better Than Ezra-How Does Your Garden Grow? and Third Eye Blind (I think it was self titled).  These are both SOLID choices for an 11 year old.  I would later purchase 3eb, so don't worry about that.  I wore that album out.  From that point on, whenever I had extra money, you would find me in the music aisle. 

*Side note:  It makes me infinitely sad that my children will probably never stand in the music aisle at Walmart and obsess over which CD to buy with their money.  They will download them instead. 

BTE would later end up being my first concert too!  Technically New Kids on The Block was, but BTE was my first concert that I was old enough to remember attending.  I think I was in 7th grade when I went with my mom, dad, Sara, and Ashley to see BTE and Cowboy Mouth.  I won tickets because my mom heard on the radio that one of the DJ's was at the mall with tickets by the elevator and would give two to everyone who came up to him.  My mom went up to him.  Then my dad.  Then me.  I have never been so excited in my life and the concert did not disappoint.  I would go on to see them about 100 more times and even get to meet them and have them sign EVERY SINGLE ALBUM they are came out with, including the one that you could only get online.  They were even impressed with my collection.

 

To this day I still love BTE.  I don't love them as much as I used to, but they are definitely still rocked in my car every once in awhile.  I attribute my overly-extreme love of music to them.  I also attribute some of my musical evolution to my sister.  Without her, I probably would have chosen something lame.  I am pretty sure her intentions were selfish.  My guess is that she didn't want to listen to said lame CD on repeat for months to come, but no matter the intentions I am thankful.  Her influence on my musical taste would later piss my mom off when she helped me to purchase the Alanis Morisette album.  We stuck it in the CD player on the way home and when Alanis very clearly sang, "and are you thinking of me when you fuck her" mom quickly shot a look at Kristyn.  Luckily mom let me keep the CD. 

After purchasing my first CD, I would often sneak to her room when she wasn't home and steal:
Smashing Pumpkins-Melon Collie and the Infinite Sadness
The Offspring-Come out and play
Live-Throwing Copper

So in honor of national sibling day yesterday (YOU THOUGHT I WAS BEING LAZY!!!) I made not one...but TWO playlists for my sister that you now all get to take advantage of.  The first is the one she asked for.  Her "Songs that are mellow, but I can still rock out to that are clean, but not squeaky clean" playlist (that one's not difficult at all to interpret...)

1. I Turn My Camera On-Spoon
2. In Our Darkest Hour-Phantom Planet
3. Junk of the Heart (Happy)-The Kooks
4. Long Distance Call-Phoenix
5. Young Folks-Peter Bjorn And John
6. Broadripple is Burning-Margot and The Nuclear So and So's (this one has the F word in it, but only once.  The kids will probably miss it)
7. Sing, Theresa Says-Greg Laswell
8. Seven Nation Army-The White Stripes
9. Up Up Up-Givers
10. Electric Feel-MGMT
11. Cameras-Matt and Kim
12. While I'm Alive-STRFKR
13. Two Weeks-Grizzly Bear
14. Knee Socks-Arctic Monkeys
15. West Coast-Coconut Records
16. Midnight City-M83
17. Screaming Infidelties-Dashboard (an oldie, but appropriate for the mix)
18. Stay Young, Go Dancing-Death Cab
19. Love you Madly-Cake
20. Sideways-Citizen Cope


The second is her "Thanks for making sure I didn't listen to lame music, happy national siblings day mix".  Please enjoy this compilation of my favorite songs from all the CD's I have ever stolen from you in the late 90's.  Make sure to listen to it on shuffle.

1. Selling the Drama-Live
2. I Alone-Live
3. All Over You-Live
4.Vasoline-Stone Temple Pilots
5. Interstate Love Song-Stone Temple Pilots
6. Big Empty-Stone Temple Pilots
7. Big Bang Baby-Stone Temple Pilots
8. Trippin' on a Hole in a Paper Heart-Stone Temple Pilots
9. Tomorrow-Silverchair
10. Everything Zen-Bush (Although I think you had this CD because you stole my tape of it and got it stuck in your car cassette player when you got in that wreck)
11. Comedown-Bush
12. Machinehead-Bush
13. Glycerine-Bush
14. Shimmer-Fuel
15. Superman's Dead-Our Lady Peace
16. 4am-Our Lady Peace
17. Clumsy-Our Lady Peace
18. Follow You Down-Gin Blossoms
19. Come Out and Play-Offspring
20. Thirty-Three-Smashing Pumpkins
21. Stumbeline-Smashing Pumpkins (still an amazing song)
22. Tonight, Tonight-Smashing Pumpkins
23. Zero-Smashing Pumpkins
24. 1979-Smashing Pumpkins
25. Today-Smashing Pumpkins


I've been making mixed CD's for EVERYONE for years and years now as you can see in the picture below...

Mom sent me this picture.  She still has her "Bitchin Mix".  Very curious what is on this one.  I probably made this for her 8 or so years ago.  Everyone got mixed CD's for Christmas and their birthday every year that I was in college.  I put a lot of thought into the mixes.  It's one of my favorite things to do.  When I first started dating Jon, I am pretty sure that is how we actually got to know each other.  We were both fairly busy, but we would exchange mixed CD's every time we got together.  I knew he was the one when the first song on the first mix he gave me was West Coast-Coconut Records and the second was Drop it Low-Esther Dean and Lil Wayne.  A man after my heart.  My point is that music definitely brings people together.  It is one of my favorite things in the whole world and I plan on writing about it a lot.  Also, if you ever want a mix just let me know!!  I won't even charge you :) 

Definitions...Big Changes...End of a chapter

I've been thinking A LOT.  I'm a woman.  Of course I've been thinking A LOT.  It's what we do.

It looks like my blog (as it is now) is coming to an end this week.

It's been a good LONG 7 year run obsessing about food, but I think it's time to close that chapter in my life. I was talking to a friend just today who has been busting ass at the gym.  She looks amazing and is doing awesome.  She said that she got on the scale for the first time in awhile and saw a number she hadn't seen in years.  You would think this was a good thing, but the number was HIGHER than it had been in years.  Just like that, the scale can take away all the good feelings...

Sometimes I am a lazy fatass and the scale tells me I'm hot shit.  Sometimes I work like a beast and feel great only to have the scale tell me I'm a chubster and make me feel like less than I am.  I'm tired of taking a self-confidence hit from the scale all the time.   

I went to the doctor about a year ago because I felt like I was doing everything right.  I knew there had to be some reason (medically) why I was not losing weight.  There was not.  And this is what the doctor told me:  "You don't need to lose weight."  Say what doc??  My reply, "but I do doc.  You see this here BMI chart?  I am OVERWEIGHT.  Like by a decent bit."  The doctor then told me that yes, by those standards I was overweight.  And yes losing weight couldn't hurt.  But she also told me that people have different body types and heredity and that she had done a full and extensive physical workup and by all accounts I was the perfect picture of health.  All my numbers were perfection.  Not one damn thing wrong with me. 

I didn't feel healthy and I didn't feel good and I was not active enough 50lbs ago.  But now...now it's vanity.  Plain and simple vanity.  I am happy.  I am healthy.  I am active.  So the reason I have been OBSESSING over food non stop for seven years is vanity?  When you take a step back and look at the big picture that is the stupidest reason I can think of to obsess over something for seven years.  Do I think I would look hot if I lost 25 more lbs?  Hell yes!  Do I think I look hot now?  Same answer.  I know that in order to stay the size I am I have to be conscious of what I am putting in my mouth and making sure that I am active, but it no longer needs to be an obsession.  I think anyone who has lost a decent amount of weight will tell you that the fear of putting that weight back on is sometimes worse than just being a fatty. 

So I am done obsessing over it.  I am done letting food and a number on the scale define my life.  I am ready to make good use of this body that I worked so hard to have (even if it isn't perfect).  I am ready to decorate it and feel good about it.  Why spend countless hours thinking about losing weight just to wear some shorts that you didn't think chubby people should wear?  Guess what I bought today!  Those freakin shorts.

 

 

 

Yep!!  The shorts that I have only seen skinny minnies wear.  Lace shorts.  The ones that chubsters aren't allowed to wear.  Suck it everybody!!  Side note:  I ordered them online, but when I get them I will definitely be snapping a picture.  I'm tired of looking at outfits on pinterest and loving them, but thinking they aren't for people my size.  I'm healthy and I'm confident and I will be damned if I am going to let some stupid perception of what I am allowed to do/wear at my size define me.  I can distinctly remember the first time while losing weight that I didn't have to go to lane Bryant for work pants (yes I was in their smallest size, but I still had to shop at the plus sized store).  It was a WONDERFUL feeling to slide on a pair of pants at the limited and not have a problem.  From now on, if there is something I like and I feel it looks good I refuse to pass it up because, "I will buy that when I am skinnier."  It's bullshit and I'm done with it.   

 

So where does this leave us with the blog?  I enjoy writing and I enjoy writing about what I like to do.  I like to eat heatlhy and I like to workout so I have no intentions of not writing about those things or sharing recipes on here.  I also like music.  I like shopping.  I like clothes.  I like my dogs and my family.  I like being goofy.  I like learning new things.  I like writing.  I like telling stories.  I like running (sometimes).  I like listening to people.  THOESE are the things that define me.  Not just one thing.  All of those things go together to make me who I am.  I plan on writing about ALL of those things. 

 

No more obsessing about weight.  I don't NEED to lose weight.  The doctor even said so.  I NEED to enjoy life and write about the things that make me happy. I NEED my thoughts to be more well rounded and centered around happiness and not dieting.  When I have a child I NEED them to go back and read my blog when they are older and see that health, confidence, and happiness are more important than vanity.

 

I know not everyone will be interested in continuing to follow and read my blog and I am totally ok with that.  No hard feelings at all.  I just wanted to be upfront about the changes to come.  Including the name of the blog :)

Make time

I'm struggling to make time to do ALL the things I want to do right now. 

1.  I want to be running at least 4 times a week.
2.  I want to be doing yogalates 2-3 times a week.
3.  I am playing tennis 2 times a week and it will be a little more in the summer.
4.  I want to do stadiums 2 times a week.

That's at least 10 times a week.  How?  How do all the runners out there do it?  Are you running exclusively?  Oh yea, and I also want to paint the spare room, tear out the carpet, finish the flower beds, cut the grass once a week, cook dinner, watch tv, play with the dogs, keep the house clean, do laundry, and spend time with my family.  Don't forget I work 40 hours a week.  Jon, when are you going to let me be a day lady??  Just kidding :)

I've been a little MIA this week, but sometimes I just feel like I'm blogging about the same stuff over and over and it has to get boring for you guys.

A few months ago Jon was in a tennis tournament and they had a Gala on the Saturday night of it that included a silent auction.  There was a 3 month membership at Yogalates South to be bid on and I was super excited about it. I like going to Yogalates, but I don't like to do that exclusively and at $79 a month that would be the only thing I could pay for.  Every now and then I would go for a class every week or so and just pay the $10 a class.  So, I knew the 3 month  membership there was worth at least $237.  I bid $70 on it and won it!!  I was super excited, but with playing so much tennis and running I didn't get to start my membership until yesterday.  It was a different teacher and I was excited to get started.  Side note...Hot Yoagalates in the summer is WAY HOTTER than hot yogalates in the winter.  Just so you know.  I figured I was going to have to be air lifted out of there like Mindy at the 5k fun run for cancer (If you aren't watching The Mindy project, you're doing something wrong)

I could barely breath waiting for the damn class to start.  Anyway, I felt really good and was able to do most of the moves no problem.  There were even something the teacher called "sprinkles." Every ten minutes or so we would do duck squats and jump squats and I totally killed those.  Towards the end of the class, feeling excellent, she shows us the last move, called a Tripod Headstand (which she later told me they had been working on for about a month).  The EASY version of it looked like this.

The harder version, which about half the class was doing, is that except you put your legs up and out (like a split.  I LITERALLY laughed out loud when she showed us.  I mean, enough that people looked back at me.  I was in the back, by the way (duh).  Quickly, realizing she was not joking, I kind of tried it.  And by kind of, I mean that I put my head on the ground.  Everyone made it look so easy.  This makes a little more sense when you realize that I outweighed ALL the people in there by at least 25-30 pounds with the exception of one larger lady who was there with her daughter, who looked at me and rolled her eyes like she knew exactly what I was thinking.  It's ok though because I can probably beat most of them in tennis.  I mean I can't be good at everything right? :)

Anywho, I have a three month membership and my goal is to be able to do the HARD version of this move by the end of three months.  Although, this seems about as practical as me doing a pull-up without Jon lifting me (which he does sometimes to boost my confidence #noupperbodystrength), I will practice every night if I have to.  Who knows, maybe by the end I will be able to do ONE pull up too.  Big dreams!  Don't worry, when I do it I will make Jon take a picture and I'll post it.  By the way I was showing him the move last night to prove how hard this shit is and the asshole did it first try.  I mean he was struggling, but he did it.