Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Guest Blogger

We have a guest blogger in the house!!  My sister wrote a post for my blog and it is pretty awesome so keep reading!

It's something of a miracle that I'm even here and alive to write this blog post for all of you. My name is Kristyn - also known as Kaitlyn's older, bitchier sister - and I am an addict. Drugs of choice: fattening foods and Diet (ironic, I know) Coke. The miracle lies in the fact that it is day eight of my Advocare 24-Day Challenge ... therefore eight days since my last Diet Coke, slice of pizza, hamburger, piece of cake, plate of spaghetti, slice of white Bunny bread, flour tortilla, serving of cheese....well, you get the picture.

Now that I've had that moment of delicious nostalgia, let me say this. I'm okay. No, really, I'm not just saying that. I'm actually okay. Believe me when I say that no one is more surprised at that fact than I am.

Some history and background: my weight was not something I struggled with growing up. I was scrawny as a kid and even when my "curves" filled out as a teen, I stayed thin. I ate what I wanted, when I wanted and never saw above a 110 on the scale. I was fortunate. I didn't belong to a gym, but did lots of physical activity with colorguard in high school. In college, I gained a little weight, but stayed around 120/125 despite the constant (and I do mean CONSTANT) bar hopping and binge drinking. It wasn't until near the end of college when I settled down with my now husband and decided to get married that I started having issues with my weight. And because it hadn't ever been anything I had to think about I had no idea how to handle it. I took diet pills to lose weight before my wedding and lost enough to look okay (but not as thin as I once was) and within the first year of marriage, I gained all of it back plus some. Not long after, I got pregnant with my first child who is now almost seven years old. When she was 15 months old, we tried for a second and final child and had several instances of miscarriage until we sought the help of a specialist. Through this entire time I never did lose the weight I'd gained. I lost my pregnancy weight very easily (I hadn't gained much), but stayed as overweight as I was prior to pregnancy. Enter fertility drugs. Weight gain is a given there. Lucky for us, it worked quickly so the damage was minimal. We conceived twins who are now three and a half. After their birth I lost the pregnancy weight (again, easily). When the twins were two, I opted to have a breast reduction and tummy tuck to try and fix some of the damage caused by carrying and delivering two six-pound babies. To read about that adventure, feel free to click HERE. In any event. I was happy with the way I looked post-surgery, despite the number on the scale being considered "overweight". Since my surgery, I've gained over 20 lbs.

Though it may seem odd to say that an "overweight" scale number was good with me, it was. I was talking with a good friend the other night about this. We agreed that everyone has a number in their head that is their ideal weight. By ideal weight, I don't mean 110 pounds - obviously that's my "ideal" weight, but we don't live in magical fantasy-land where everyone has a puppy and a trust fund. 110 might be obtainable for me, but it certainly isn't maintainable. What I mean is that everyone has a number in mind where they feel good about their body and the way it looks. A number that they can achieve and maintain without killing themselves and sacrificing any sort of life. Remember that chick that posted her picture on the internet with all her children saying "what's your excuse?"? Yeah, screw her. There was a response by another blogger listing all her excuses and citing things like "I want to be able to enjoy popcorn with my kids on movie night". And that's the crux of it. Easily maintainable. Where I can still enjoy my life and indulge when appropriate and not be a slave to my weight. Work-life balance? Try weight-life balance. (ooooh....trademark pending on that term, folks).

So anyway, my "ideal" number is probably considered high by most. That's because despite my fat-assedness, I carry weight well. Differently than a lot of people. Everyone gains and loses and carries it differently. 150 on you might look obese where 150 on me might look awesome. You might gain only in your hips and butt where I might gain a little all over. Etc, etc, etc.

I gain/lose all over. It's a blessing....and a curse. A blessing because I don't really look like I weigh as much as I do. A curse because I've lost eight pounds in the last week and you.can' GRRR! Eight freaking pounds!!!!! Like, almost ten. That's a lot! And in a week? It should be very noticeable! But it isn't.

The me from nine days ago would've said "Screw it, I'm ordering a pizza." But I'm not, because that just means I have to keep going so I can actually lose enough for people to be able to telllllllll I haven't been eating junk. I mean, I really need y'all to be able to look at me and say, "She clearly doesn't eat pizza, like, at all." I want to look HUNGRY for crying out loud. Not necessarily healthy, hungry.

But seriously, I can't say enough about the Advocare Challenge. We are eating healthy and results are plentiful. (I'm using the term "we" loosely since I came back from my run yesterday and saw my husband who is also doing the challenge drinking a beer (totes not allowed) claiming he "forgot" that he wasn't supposed to have it. Lies! Considering that since we started this I haven't stopped thinking about the beer I can't have. The asshole.)

I just had to be ready to do it. I wanted to lose weight a few months or years ago. But I wasn't ready. If I'd tried this back then, I'd have failed and wasted the money I spent on it. Something must have clicked this time around because I really am truly okay. Don't get me wrong, there are times when I'd sell a kidney for a slice of pizza and that's no doubt going to be the first meal I have on day 25, but I've been able to ignore the urge and continue. I don't plan to give up Diet Coke on a permanent basis - I love it as if it were my fourth child - but I do plan to cut way back on it. And I feel like when I get to my magic number I'll be able to maintain it by eating right most of the time and indulging on a much more limited basis, because this clean-eating thing really isn't that bad. I won't say it's great, because despite the fact that I feel good eating this way I also wish I was still 16-year-old me who could eat crap all the time and never pay the price. But I'm not 16 anymore. Far from it. And there is a price. I know because I'm paying it now.  

So that's my story. It probably wasn't crazy enlightening to anyone, but I hope it was a different perspective on some of this. I have my own blog that has pretty much no theme or direction other than me being snarky and, well, let's face it, mean at times (yeah, I'm the mean sister). I haven't written a lot as of late, but I keep promising myself I'll get back to it. This was fun....maybe I will.

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