Monday, June 24, 2013

Story of the Half-Eaten Mexican Pizza

WARNING:  This blog post will be about total and complete failure.  Read at own risk!

You know things did not go well when you wake up on Sunday at 11am, still half drunk, with a half-eaten Mexican Pizza by your head.

Something went terribly wrong this weekend guys...

There seems to be a pattern here, where I do wonderfully all week, then come Friday night it's an eat fest until Sunday night.  The plan is always to have ONE cheat meal on the weekend, but things seem to quickly get out of hand.  So far, things have gone relatively alright.  Most of the time Friday night is something I shouldn't be eating, but I don't overeat.  When I'm full, I stop.  On Saturday I usually have eggs for breakfast and keep it not too bad for lunch.  Well, this weekend shit got real.  I DO NOT drink.  By DO NOT, I actually mean I only drink once or twice a year.  I don't really enjoy the taste of alcohol so I pretty much drink to get drunk.  I'm not one to sip a glass of wine and enjoy it.  No thanks.  I drank pretty heavily and quite often when I was in college, but once I started losing weight I pretty much gave it up all together because drinking WILL sabotage your weight loss.  No doubt. 

One of my best friends is moving to Texas next week.  We decided that we all needed one last night out Saturday night to party like we were in college.  So the husbands/fiances stayed sober to drive us around and the girls drank...and drank....and drank.  When I decide that I am actually going to drink I plan it out pretty meticulously.  With me, there is a very fine line between "good time drunk" and "throwing up drunk."  There is not a whole bunch of in between.  Jon and I went to dinner around 9 at Bistro Byronz.  I got the avacodo supreme.  It's avacados, sprouts, tomatoes, and balsamic on a 7 grain bun.  Not the worse choice I could make right??  I also got a Bellini-Tini. This is a martini with orange juice, champagne, lots of vodka (obviously), and peach and it's absolutely delicious.  So, we leave there and I have a pretty strong buzz going (because I don't often drink).  We head to Boudreaux and Thibodeaux's downtown and I ask the bartender if he can make something "martini-like."  He say's sure and I watch as he pours absolute vodka in a shaker, squeezes 3 lemon slices in there, and shakes.  I know I'm in trouble at this point, but I'm with my besties and feeling good so I drink it rather quickly because surprisingly that shit went down smooth.  I get another...and then one more.  You can imagine where I'm at drunk-wise at this point.  We decide to go to city bar (is that what it's called?) and I got a vodka and sprite, which pretty much tasted like vodka and vodka, but about halfway through started to taste like delicious water and lemon.  Things get a little blurry at this point.  I know we danced and danced and danced.  There is a video of it somewhere.  At about 1:30 I told Jon we needed to leave because, and I quote, "I need a mother fucking mexican pizza right now."  Being the wonderful hubs that he is, he laughed at me, helped me get my drunk ass to the car, and drove me straight to taco bell as I apparently sang "Little Red Corvette"  by Prince at the top of my lungs.  In my defense, he told me I was really good and he wanted to hear more.  We got home and Jon then had to cut my dress off of me.  Yes, with scissors!!  All because he somehow zipped my undershirt into my dress earlier in the night.  When trying to unzip, it got caught and I was plenty drunk enough to not want to deal with this!  He saved the dress, but had to cut the undershirt.  I slept in the undershirt with the huge hole in it, by the way. 

And here we are...Sunday morning...full of seeping out of my pores

Also, does anyone notice I just ate the middle out of the pizza.  No idea here. 

Well you know what?!  It's Monday guys and I am feeling pretty good about it.  Maybe, this half-eaten mexican pizza was just what I needed to realize that ONE cheat meal a week is plenty.  And maybe the fact that it's Monday morning and I am STILL hungover has taught me a lesson.  I am pretty excited to go to the Advocare mixer by my house tonight and get re-focused on what I am here to do which is get healthy and lose weight.  Every time I want to eat something stupid this week Im going to look at this pizza.  Shit, I think I might make it the background of my phone.  Sometimes we need a reminder.

Some side notes:  If anyone wants more info about the mixer tonight hit me up..  It's going to be a good time guys!  Also, please follow me if you read.  I have NO followers, but a good bit of views so I know some of you are reading!  And if you have anything you want me to blog about or any questions you have I would LOVE to hear them!

No comments:

Post a Comment